The word change in the Christian vernacular is typically used interchangeably with other words such as transformation and conversion. The meaning of course is centered in the acceptance of Christ as our Lord and Savior. To be transformed by our salvation, converted or changed in the process—to be saved. I’ve heard that for some, the transformation or change from nonbeliever to believer is a sudden, radical turnabout in their lives. In seemingly an instant, their desires and behaviors line up with their new found faith in Christ. They choose a new path and set out to stay on it.

However, I’ve encountered so many young women who struggle with the guilt of slipping back into old habits, unhealthy relationships and feeling such a sense of failure in their Christian walk. I can look back to my early twenties and relate to those feelings and certainly I can still relate today for different reasons than back then but my journey, like every other Christian, is at times difficult and will never be perfect.

The key however, is to examine why we find ourselves doing the same things over and over—continuing to choose to live in a vicious cycle of repentance, sin, guilt, repentance, sin, guilt…this cycle is exhausting emotionally and physically.

Note I said choose. I believe this is where a lot of us get in the proverbial hamster wheel and believe we can’t get out. We just keep spinning around and around wishing we could get out but we fail to make a definitive choice. The hamster will never know it isn’t getting anywhere but we are painfully aware of our lack of progress. The question then becomes what are we going to do about it? For those of us who were or are steeped in the deepest muck and mire it can seem easier to just stay there. The process of real, lifelong change appears to require a lot of concerted effort. It does. That’s where the rubber hits the road as they say.

I believe most of us don’t experience life-giving change because we don’t really want to—deep down we may desire such change but we don’t have the resolution to make it happen. Simply put, we don’t have the discipline and we don’t really want to live disciplined lives. We are rebellious and self-serving. Am I saying it’s hopeless? Absolutely not! But until we learn to tell ourselves no, we won’t ever really tell Christ yes.

In a culture where the agenda has long been a push for believing that everything and anything is acceptable; I believe it has become increasingly more difficult to grasp the concept of self-denial—to understand and adhere to healthy boundaries regardless of what the world says. Our fleshly desires and behaviors aren’t new (Eccl. 1:9). It isn’t easy living in a world where we have access to anything but must be wise enough to choose the best things. But choose we must. As a young friend of mine recently said, “change comes one good decision after another.” I believe Angela’s statement contains a key component to our Christian walk—we live it out one good decision followed by another and then another and so on. Freedom in Christ is found in obedience and discipline not rebellion and denial. Real, recognizable change comes in small victories made one at a time. It is in this one-good-decision-at-a-time, over time, that we discover who we really are in Christ.

I can remember looking in the mirror, knowing I was a child of God but not seeing Him in my reflection at all. I wanted to change my course, I wanted to get off the destructive path I had chosen. I had allowed others to redefine me and I truly lost my sense of direction for a long time. I knew how to make poor, in the moment decisions, what I had to learn the hard way was to make better decisions ahead of time; one at a time over and over until I was back on course.

So as my husband loves to say, “here’s the net-net” of the situation:

The first most important decision to make, if you have not done so, is choose to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 (NIV)

Second, either buy a bible in a translation you like and understand, download an app or I like to use www.biblegateway.com for quick reference and study. Begin reading scripture every day and don’t get hung up on how much you are reading each day just read. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you revelation as you read. Be still before the Lord.

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23 (NIV)

Third, find a bible believing, bible teaching church who welcomes you with open arms. Those churches really do exist, I belong to one!

Finally, resolve to make those changes you know you need to make—one good decision at a time—over time—for all time. Amen.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

C. Deni Johnson