As a child I took great care with my toys. I cherished each one and never wanted to damage any of them. Even after hours and hours of play my toys looked new. I guess it was no surprise then when I started school and the same care I placed on my toys I placed on my schoolbooks especially the crisp paperback workbooks issued at the beginning of the school year.

I have a very clear memory from probably the second grade involving one of those large, bound workbooks. Each day our teacher asked us to retrieve the book from our desk in order to “check” our homework. On one particular day I took notice of the condition of the students’ workbooks closest to me. They were worn, covers plastered with doodles and meaningless graffiti—the pages wrinkled. I then looked at my workbook and it looked new. Every page still crisp and the cover—front and back—free of any dirt let alone mindless scribbles from a 7 year old. The condition of my workbook had nothing to do with my adherence to homework assignments in the book. They were all complete. But instead of feeling good about the condition of my book I felt just the opposite. I began crinkling the first several pages of the book as quickly as I could when the teacher walked up to me and asked what I was doing. I have no idea what my response was but I stopped crumpling the pages.

I suppose I wanted to be like the other kids—I wanted to be a little careless and carefree but that simply wasn’t my disposition—in many respects that statement still holds true for me today. Inwardly I long for a sense of being carefree but instead I’m plagued with a hyper sense of cautiousness and conscientiousness. I lean toward being a “color within lines” kind of girl. I spend a lot of time and energy on making sure I maintain the baseline instead of raising the bar—holding too tightly to what I can see instead of trusting the Lord for those things I cannot see.

Of course being cautious and conscientious are not negative attributes unless they are personal strongholds to really living—to fully experiencing life. An unhealthy reckless life isn’t the answer but somewhere between that and a life stifled by fear and analysis paralysis is what I long for most days. Can anyone relate? I was taught to be a good girl and good girls always do the right and proper thing. I certainly would never advocate doing the wrong and inappropriate thing but I believe we are called to be adventurous not fainthearted as described in the following passages: (emphasis is mine)

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him! Romans 8:15-17 (The Message)

 When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army. He shall say: “Hear, Israel: Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” Deuteronomy 20:2-4 (NIV)

Webster’s defines fainthearted as “lacking courage or resolution…timid.” Funny, I’ve always considered myself as being courageously cautious…is that possible? I’m not sure! I think that is an oxymoron at its finest!

In Matthew, chapter 25, Jesus teaches about the talents or in other words money. The essence of this parable revolves around our obedience as Christ followers to invest ourselves in the Lord’s work. We, as believers, are not called to maintain the minimum and sit idly by and “bury” our God-given talents but rather, we are to risk investing ourselves in Kingdom work allowing the Holy Spirit to manifest multiplied fruit. The following is the parable as told in the book of Matthew in the Message translation (emphasis is mine):

“It’s also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master’s investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master’s money.

  “After a long absence, the master of those three servants came back and settled up with them. The one given five thousand dollars showed him how he had doubled his investment. His master commended him: ‘Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.’

“The servant with the two thousand showed how he also had doubled his master’s investment. His master commended him: ‘Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.’

“The servant given one thousand said, ‘Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.’

“The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.

“‘Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this “play-it-safe” who won’t go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.’

The following is an excerpt from Matthew Henry’s Commentary about the servant who hid his money/talent:

…if I have not made it more, as the others have done, yet this I can say, I have not made it less. This, he thinks, may serve to bring him off, if not with praise, yet with safety.

Clearly this example in scripture tells us we are not to merely strive for a life filled with examples of what we didn’t do or how well we played it safe. We are not called to mitigate our risk of potential failure, rejection or sacrifice. Instead, I believe we are called to crumple the pages in the name of Jesus—get a little messy in the trenches doing what only we, the Christian church, can do—proclaim the Good News that Jesus Christ is Lord and there is hope, power and restoration in the name of Jesus. We can no longer afford to sit in our pews or chairs and commend ourselves on how perfectly we look sitting there! We ARE to add more to the Kingdom not relish in the fact that perhaps, in our own minds, we have not made it less!

Nowhere in scripture are we admonished to sit in our holy huddles and proclaim that at least OUR proverbial covers are pristine, OUR pages are crisp. What are we saying? That we will not risk getting dirty so that in the end we can tell Jesus just how careful we were to keep His Word to ourselves? We didn’t get messy, we remained aloof to a world crying out for hope. We didn’t crumple any pages Jesus, but then, we didn’t make a difference either.

C. Deni Johnson