Month: January 2016

“The enemy has a choke-hold on you.” These are the words the Holy Spirit spoke to me as I returned to bed from a late night bathroom visit. A disturbing message to say the least and I knew exactly why it was spoken—once again I was consumed with worry and fear.

Worry and fear—my lifelong companions. I honestly don’t remember a time in my life from a very young age of 4 or 5 to the present that at some level, I haven’t struggled with these two life draining emotions. Is it just my nature to worry and be fearful? Perhaps I and others are more genetically predisposed to high levels of anxiety but I also believe for me—to some extent—it was very much learned.

I remember adopting a very bizarre concept when I was a child. I have no idea if this notion was actually spoken to me or I merely surmised it from watching and listening to the adults around me. But I had a thought process beginning around the time I started elementary school that went something like this: “if I worry about it enough, it won’t happen.”

How do you worry enough? Interestingly, I suppose that equated for me to mean worry constantly…what other choice did I have? There isn’t a one size fits all worry assessment tool that once a certain level is obtained then bada-bing, bada-boom—all worrying can now be halted because you have worried enough!

I distinctly remember telling people as I got older that “worrying is what I do, I am a worrier.” Angst so dominated my daily life I actually adopted it as my normal mental status and identity as if it was something to brag about as if it was my profession. I was a professional worrier. Ludicrous!

Thankfully, I have through the healing work of Christ, been set free of a great deal of this constant burden that I carried for many years. Truthfully, I can’t say I never worry but I can say I no longer subscribe to the perverted notion of worrying enough.

Beloved, the enemy wants nothing more than to render Christians useless through whatever means he can find. Fear and worry work pretty well for most of us. Our enemy prowls like a lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8) and few things can consume me and perhaps you like worry and fear. But here’s the good news—we have a lion tamer and his name is Jesus!

Here are a few of my favorite go-to verses when I feel the suffocation of worry and fear creeping into my consciousness:

• So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
  
• Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7 (NIV)
• Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)
• Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Matthew 6:25 (NIV)
• For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13 (NIV) 

Just within these few verses and there are many more, the Lord assures us that He is with us, we belong to Him and He will strengthen us and provide peace beyond our human understanding. But within these same verses we learn our role—we are told to not be distraught but to pray and present our requests to the Lord while also giving thanks. It’s a two-way street; an if-then situation—if we turn our thoughts to the Lord and seek Him, then we can rest in His strength and the peace only He can provide.

It appears we have two choices—allow the enemy to put a life draining choke-hold on us or choose to let the King of Kings provide life giving hope and peace.

C. Deni Johnson

 

 

A girlfriend from high school called a few days ago. It’s time for another class reunion so she wanted me to join her and some other alums for a planning session—a session located 5 hours each way by car for me. I graciously declined the lunch date but told her to let me know what they decide and I’d be happy to help out where needed.

As I hear myself telling her to please keep me in the planning loop I also feel this sense of dread at the prospect of actually seeing some of these people again. We only had 50 or so students in our graduating class and the only time we’ve partially reunited in 25 years is for someone’s funeral. A sobering thought.

Going back to one’s hometown for a class reunion isn’t always easy. I believe the smaller the town and the class—the harder the trip back. A high school class reunion for me is figuratively a trip back to one of the darkest periods of my life. I was known as the girl who cried a lot. How do I know this is how my classmates viewed me? They wrote this sentiment in our high school newspaper! And, in their defense, I did cry a lot. My sense of self-worth was extremely low. I felt all alone. I was desperate for positive attention and a sense of normalcy. And, to compound the entire situation, I was in a destructive relationship with someone who was verbally and physically abusive. Yes, I cried a lot.

As a young teen and through my early twenties, I didn’t know who I was. My self-definition depended upon people’s acceptance or rejection of me—not just the people closest to me but anyone. I craved approval and never felt at peace with myself. My desire to be seen as successful combined with my overwhelming sense of failure dominated my thought life. No wonder I felt about half crazy most of the time.

So as you can imagine, the last thing I want is to attend a reunion like the last where someone stands in front of the group and reads the observations forever laid down in print about each classmate. As I said, not because their observations about me weren’t accurate but because the story didn’t end there—it simply began there. Unfortunately, to some extent, we still see each other as we did then—somewhat of a rearview mirror perspective.

How thankful I am Jesus doesn’t just see me as who I was—a broken young woman—but instead called me to accept Him as my Lord and Savior and relinquish my old self and embrace my new self; a new identity in Christ (Eph. 4:22). In other words, upon salvation and forevermore, we are redeemed and our past no longer defines our present or our future. We no longer live life in the rearview mirror! We have hope and a future (Jer. 29:11)!

Girlfriend, I don’t know what objects appear in your review mirror but if you don’t know the freedom that comes with accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior, then don’t wait another moment. Ask Jesus into your heart and let Him bring redemption, restoration and revelation to your life. And, if you’re like I was so long ago—saved but adrift—don’t wait another moment to let Christ begin a new work and set a new course for your life (Phil. 1:6). Hallelujah! Amen!

C. Deni Johnson

©2016

 

“Who do you have with you there Carl?” A question I remember hearing over and over as a little girl standing by my daddy’s side. My dad without hesitation would always reply as he pulled me close, “this is my right hand.” With that simple response my dad made me feel so loved, secure and important to him. Even as a small child incapable of comprehending all he meant by his response; I knew in my heart it must be a good thing because he said it with pride, a smile and a loving touch.

As an adult I’ve thought many times about my dad’s description of me and how with that one phrase he said so much about his feelings for me. “My right hand” expressed so clearly how much he loved me and how he saw me as a part of himself—a very important part.

Not that long ago while reading a passage of scripture—a passage I had read many, many times before— the phrase “right hand” sent a jolt to my spirit. How could I have missed this before? Why had I not recognized this beautiful analogy of the right hand of God before now?

Both Old and New Testament scriptures speak of God’s righteous right hand. The Lord tells us not to be fearful and promises to “strengthen us and uphold us with His righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10) and He is our God who “will take hold of our right hand” (Isaiah 41:13). Isn’t it incredible that the God of the universe promises to hold on to our right hand with His righteous right hand! God reminds us in scripture that He is our Father who protects us and helps us each day. He has a plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11) and we are not to live in fear of what lies ahead but instead we are to take hold of His righteous right hand and never let go. What a comforting thought to be hand-in-hand with our Lord.

God called my daddy home to heaven when I was only twelve years old. The next twelve years of my life were filled with poor choices driven by fear and loneliness. By the time I was twenty-three I believed my life was ruined and that I would never overcome the choices I had made. I believed I was completely useless to God. I simply couldn’t see how a Holy God could use someone as broken as myself. It was at this lowest point in my life the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to a truth that changed my direction forever. One afternoon in complete despair I walked out into a meadow by my house, sat down under a tree and began sobbing uncontrollably. I kept telling myself if my dad was alive things would be different. If my dad was alive he would protect me. I desperately longed to feel my dad’s arms around me, to have him take my hand and tell me he would take care of me and that he loved me no matter what I’d done. In that moment, as clear as if someone was standing next to me, I heard Christ say “child, you do have a Father and I am Him. I will protect you and take care of you no matter what you’ve done and nothing you can ever do will change my love for you.”

I can’t say from that day forward all my choices have been Godly ones because they have not. Nor did I eradicate fear and anxiety from my mind that afternoon never to deal with it again. And sometimes I still battle the enemy over my now distant past (and recent mistakes) as he tries to convince me that my past defines my present—a lie from the pit. I can’t proclaim my indiscretions happened prior to becoming a Christian because they did not—I accepted Christ as my Savior at the age of ten. However, I can say this— the Lord held out his righteous right hand that afternoon and thankfully, I reached out and grabbed hold. God saw my despair and comforted me as only He could. My earthly dad was gone but my Heavenly Father was right there by my side night and day, holding my hand and leading me each step of the way. I wasn’t alone. I was loved, I was forgiven and I was redeemed.

Beloved, our Heavenly Father desires an intimate relationship with us regardless of where we’ve been or what we’ve done. There is hope and healing in Christ! God stands ready with an outreached hand waiting for us to take hold. He loves and accepts us just as we are; where we are. He is ready to declare each of us as his own son or daughter.

Don’t let your past mistakes define and direct your tomorrows. Whether you are young or old it doesn’t matter. Give God your right hand; feel Him grab hold and don’t ever, ever let go.

C. Deni Johnson